Sex During Pregnancy
One significant concern pregnant couples have is the effect that sex may have on their developing baby. For the most part sex during pregnancy is perfectly safe and normal, although there are a few situations where sex may need to be temporarily discontinued. Hopefully this document will answer all the questions you and your partner may have about sex during pregnancy.
1) Is sex during pregnancy safe?
Yes. As long as your pregnancy continues normally and you are in a low risk category you can have sex all the way up until your contractions begin or your water breaks. Your baby is well protected inside his or her amniotic sac and the cervix is closed so nothing can get into the baby’s environment.
There are a few exceptions where sex may not be safe for either the mom or baby. Sometimes a complication may mean that certain positions are not recommended, and on occasion sex may be completely taken off the menu. If this occurs to you and your partner talk to your doctor or midwife about whether other, non-penetrating types of sex (like oral sex) are still allows.
2) Does sex feel different when pregnant?
For many women sex during pregnancy does feel different. During pregnancy the increased blood volume to the lower regions of the body can mean more sensitivity, while for other women changes in vaginal fluid equals an easier time. Sometimes you will get lucky and have one or both of these changes along with an increase of hormones, in that case you both may want to take a few days off work to enjoy.
Other women may not have such good luck. The hormonal changes may make them tired, cranky or just unaroused while the influx of blood makes them feel uncomfortable. On occasion women can suffer from abdominal cramps that occur during or after intercourse as well.
In the first few months of pregnancy a woman’s breasts swell and are very sensitive, which may mean that this portion of the body is off limits too. It is important that the female communicate with her partner as to whether she wants her breasts touched during sex, and how gently he needs to be.
As the pregnancy progresses certain positions may become uncomfortable, requiring experimentation. Find out which positions work best, and if you do reach a point where intercourse is impossible there are still lots of things you can do together to stay intimate.
3) Why haven’t I been in the mood for sex since I became pregnant?
Every woman’s pregnancy is different, and for some the changes that come with pregnancy result in a reduced sexual desire. Added to that the nausea, moodiness and tiredness of the first few months of pregnancy and it’s a wonder that any pregnant woman feels like having sex.
In the second trimester you will find that your libido returns as the nausea decreases and your energy levels bounce back. Now is the time to enjoy intimate time with your partner as later on in your pregnancy you may feel like holding off again as your belly swells and the aches and pains begin.
While you may not feel like sex with your partner, you can still do lots of things to show him that you love him.
4) Will my partner’s sec drive change during my pregnancy?
In most cases your partner will find you just as attractive, and sometimes they may find you even more so as you fill out and get curvier. However, there are fathers out there who may become anxious at the thought of hurting the baby or you. With some reassurance everything should be fine, but don’t pressure him into sex if he’s not comfortable with it.
Keep open lines of communication about how you feel and if either of you is not comfortable with intercourse then you can both enjoy other ways of being together.
5) Is oral sex safe during pregnancy?
Most orals sex is perfectly safe during pregnancy, as long as your partner doesn’t blow into your genital area, which could potentially cause an air embolism and harm yourself or the baby.
Additionally you should avoid oral sex if either partner has an outbreak of oral herpes (cold sores). During the third trimester oral sex should be avoided entirely if your partner has ever had oral herpes.
Caution should be taken if your partner is HIV positive or if you don’t know their HIV status, as there is evidence suggesting that the HIV virus can be transmitted through tiny abrasions in the mouth to the genitals. If you still want to have oral sex use a dental dam (a sheet of latex placed over the genitals).
6) How should I protect myself from sexually transmitted diseases during intercourse?
Pregnant women who are at risk of contracting STD’s should try to abstain from sexual intercourse during their pregnancy, or at least use a condom when having sex. Latex condoms are recommended, but if latex won’t work for you then a polyurethane male or female condom is the next best choice.
7) What sexual positions are the most comfortable during pregnancy?
As your belly begins to protrude your normal sexual positions may become awkward or uncomfortable and you will have to experiment to find positions that are comfortable for the both of you.
If you are partial to the missionary position your partner will have to take care to keep weight off of your stomach after the first trimester. Also you will need to stay off your back, so use a pillow to tilt your pelvis.
Here are a few suggestions to alternative sexual positions that you can try during your pregnancy:
Have your partner lie on his back and straddle him. This position will ensure that there is no weight on your stomach and you can control the pace and penetration.
Get your partner to sit on a chair while you straddle him.
Lie on your side and have your partner lie behind you. This position will avoid deep penetration and may be more comfortable than other positions available.
Try a variation of the missionary position where you tilt yourself to the side with a pillow, allowing your partner to keep the weight off your belly.
Lie on edge of the bed with your legs bent and feet on the end of the mattress. Your partner can kneel or stand between your legs. Use a pillow under one side after the first trimester so you are not flat on your back.
Near the end of your pregnancy you will likely find that the most comfortable position is one with you on your hands and knees, while your partner enters from behind you.
8) When should I consult my doctor?
You will likely feel some mild cramping after intercourse; however these should pass after a few minutes. If the cramps do not ease up, or you have pain or bleeding after sex you should contact your healthcare provider immediately.
If you have any questions or concerns about sexual intercourse feel free to discuss it with your doctor. Also ensure that you follow any restrictions given to your by your doctor, even if it means that you need to abstain from sex entirely.